


How the turns will table

by ImagineYourself



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Merlin, Emotionally Constipated Arthur, First Time, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:26:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineYourself/pseuds/ImagineYourself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another magic reveal in which Merlin is precious and Arthur comes to his goddamn senses.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>
  <i>Arthur's eyes flicked back to his servant, tracking the movement of his hands as he prepared a stew by the fire. The fire he'd just made with magic. Funny how it didn't look different than any other fire Arthur had ever seen. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He hoped for a moment it would start raining again, if only to put out the flames.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	How the turns will table

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head since I watched season 3-4 and now I've finally written it. I just have a lot of feelings about how the magic reveal could have gone instead. Also I chose post s3 because Lancelot is there and he is my sweet child and deserved so much better.

No. It couldn't be true. There was just no way.

Arthur's breath was held as he watched his servant stand from beside the fire. He'd had flint in his hands but Arthur would swear he'd seen a spark in the boy's eyes before there was one to light the flames. That telltale flash could only mean one thing.

Merlin had magic.

Merlin... had magic?

The idea was preposterous and Arthur shook his head as if to clear the very thought from his mind. But he could not ignore what he had just witnessed. He stood frozen to the spot, half hidden behind the trunk of a tree, his knights laughing among themselves. Gwaine slapped Percival's meaty arms and sat where Merlin had just been kneeling. The servant himself had traipsed away towards the horses, presumably to fetch the makings of supper.

He was clumsy and stupid and kind and selfless and made the worst servant but the greatest friend that Arthur could have ever asked for. He couldn't have magic. Magic was evil and corrupt. Uther had taught him that long ago and he'd kept the lesson close at heart. If Merlin had magic...

Arthur's eyes flicked back to his servant, tracking the movement of his hands as he prepared a stew by the fire. The fire he'd just made with magic. Funny how it didn't look different than any other fire Arthur had ever seen. It was small, just enough to lend a little heat in the chill of nightfall. The orange flames licked at the damp wood Merlin had gathered from the freshly rained on forest. Even Arthur's cloak was damp, though he didn't dare get closer to the fire, still in turmoil.

He hoped for a moment it would start raining again, if only to put out the flames.

 

-

 

Three days had passed since the fire deep in the woods, and Arthur was growing uncertain of his convictions. He had yet to see his servant use magic again and it was becoming more difficult to say he'd even seen it in the first place. It just didn't add up. There were a million things a day that Merlin could use magic on and finish faster or better. But he didn't. At least not that Arthur could see, and he'd been keeping his eyes peeled.

Merlin was hardworking and loyal, anyone could see. In fact, it was often commented on by the knights and even Gwen, who would reprimand him when he gave Merlin too much work for one day. Arthur knew that his servant's faithfulness was only rivaled by that of the knights. He was almost a brother in arms just like them, constant at Arthur's side.

Even now, he wasn't far, standing by the table while Arthur gazed out the window. Merlin was polishing his armor where it lay, hands busy while he hummed a tune under his breath. It was something he'd taken to doing lately, not the humming, but carrying out his duties close to Arthur. He would often spend time in Arthur's chambers in the evenings before the prince would retire. Sometimes they talked and other times Merlin let him have quiet.

“Do you have to hum like that?” Arthur asked suddenly, breaking Merlin's concentration.

“Shall I stop?” When Arthur didn't answer he continued, “You like it and you know it.” He resumed his blasted humming a little louder, matching the tune to the stroke of his hand and the clink of the metal on the tabletop.

Arthur would never admit it, but the sound _was_ a little relaxing. A nice background to his jumbled thoughts. It was simply that it was Merlin that he was growing frustrated. He didn't know what to do with the boy. Even if he had magic, Arthur couldn't just drag him before the court and convict him to death. He shivered at the very thought of Merlin burning in the courtyard like so many before.

Gaius would call him mad. The knights would be outraged. Arthur had no doubt that Gwaine and Lancelot especially would fight him on the very idea that Merlin had magic. They were close friends and Arthur feared the mutiny he might very well face by all of the knights. Merlin was as much a constant in their lives as he was in Arthur's own.

And Gwen. She would hate Arthur. Her father had already died from a false accusation, she would never allow Merlin to die of the same. But it wasn't a false accusation, was it? Arthur had seen him. Was everyone so blind to his meek charms as to believe he was innocent?

Arthur turned, leaning against the wall to observe the boy. Merlin didn't notice his movement, or if he did, he ignored it. Arthur watched his hands move slowly as he polished, one leg up as he sat on the edge of the table. His eyes were squinting in concentration, but he was still humming like he had something to be happy about. Was he happy to be doing chores? Arthur snorted to himself.

“Something funny?” Merlin asked without looking at him.

“Just your ears. Too big for your head,” Arthur told him, walking past and flicking one as he went to his desk.

“Hey!” Merlin complained, giving him an annoyed look.

Arthur couldn't help the smile he returned at that, and their gazes locked for a few seconds too long until Merlin looked back at the armor. He picked up a different tune, just as cheerful. Sitting at his desk, Arthur pretended to be looking at a few of the reports he'd need to read before morning, but his eyes kept going to Merlin. He couldn't have explained the mix of feelings he was struggling with even if he'd tried.

 

-

 

“Merlin! Keep up,” Arthur called over his shoulder. The servant in question was lagging behind the group on his horse, reaching out to pluck leaves from a few trees as they passed. Arthur shook his head and looked forward at Leon and Elyan a ways in front of him.

They were doing a little patrol at Leon's behest. He'd said the day before there might be some smuggler activity around these parts, working towards the border. Arthur had dragged Merlin out of bed at dawn and taken Elyan as well since he was the only other knight awake at the time. They rode before the sun was fully above the horizon and now it was nearing noon already. The prince was losing faith in Leon's directional skills.

“Bandits!” Elyan suddenly called, kicking his horse to meet Leon as two armed men appeared from the trees ahead. Arthur heard noises to his left and turned just in time to see a woman with a crossbow let her bolt loose. The arrow was aimed right at his chest and Arthur was trying to lean to the side as fast as he could when the bolt veered past him like a gust of wind had caught it.

Arthur felt no breeze. He tossed his head around to see Merlin's arm falling from where he'd had it outstretched towards the prince, but Arthur had no time to speak about it. He pulled his sword from its sheath and turned his horse to meet the oncoming bandit. The woman had apparently rendered her crossbow useless and was coming towards them with a sword. Arthur easily parried and knocked her to the ground.

The fight was over nearly as quickly as it began. They found a smuggler's cart not far into the trees and dispatched the remaining two opponents before leading the cart home, hopefully to find who the contents originally belonged to.

Arthur gave Merlin a sharp glance as he passed by to lead the way to Camelot, but Merlin was too busy relaxing his horse from the spook of the fight to notice.

 

-

 

Merlin had a platter of food in one hand that he was laying out on the table as Arthur stood by his desk. The glass in the window had a reflection of the servant that Arthur was watching with tired eyes and crossed arms. Merlin poured wine into a goblet, set the pitcher down, picked up the empty platter, and was about to turn around to leave when Arthur absently kicked the foot of his desk, irritated.

The sudden sound was loud in the quiet room and Merlin spun towards him only to knock over the goblet in his haste. It was not a moment too soon that his eyes flashed and the goblet's fall was stalled by magic, his hand moving quickly to steady the cup. Arthur felt vindictive enough to reach his hand out and snap his fingers together.

“Merlin, bring me my wine, would you?” He watched as the servant's head flew up and for a brief instant, their eyes met in the reflection of the glass. Then, Merlin looked down at the goblet he'd just saved with magic and picked it up. He brought it to Arthur who took it from his shaking hand and immediately turned away.

“Wait,” Arthur said, a little too quickly. “I want to speak with you about something.” He closed his eyes momentarily, set his goblet down, and moved to face Merlin, who was looking more and more nervous with each heartbeat. “I know you have—”

Arthur stopped.

It was the span of just a second that the thoughts ran through his mind, but he could not stop them. He was angry, and rightly so. He felt the hurt of betrayal like an old wound in his back. His anger had festered in the past weeks as he had pondered his evidence, and now he was unsure why he'd been so utterly pigheaded.

His hands were cold and Merlin's eyes shone with unshed tears and the sudden fear of Arthur's reveal. The servant was terrified, that much could be certain.

Arthur continued after that short pause, “—have been sneaking off lately.” He took a sharp shuddering breath. “I can only assume you're trying to shirk your duties, but I won't have any of it.”

Merlin's face was shocked into stillness, Arthur could tell. The poor boy looked about to faint. “I—” he started, the simple syllable choked out of trembling lips.

A short sigh from Arthur was followed by, “I want you to polish my armor tonight until it sparkles. Is that clear?”

Merlin took an exceptionally long moment to nod his head and whisper, “Yes, sire,” before turning away, platter clutched to his chest.

Arthur saw the barest shake in his shoulders and wished for a moment he could reach out and comfort him. He frowned. His fingers twitched at his sides. “Merlin...”

“Is there anything else, sire?” Merlin asked softly and without turning around. There was a slight tremor in his voice.

“Ah...” Arthur dropped his shoulders in defeat. He wondered briefly if Merlin was crying. “No. You may go,” he said quietly.

The prince watched Merlin's back as the servant fled the room, not once looking back before the door shut behind him. Arthur let out a long-suffering sigh and turned to his desk, fingertips trailing along the edge of the wood. Gaze troubled and locked on the floor, he perched against the end with his arms crossed.

It was a long time before he grew weary enough to fall into bed.

 

-

 

Of all the things Arthur had seen in his life, he'd never seen anything quite like this. He had just a quick glance before moved his gaze low, keeping his eyes from the beast. The creature was massive, its body that of a cock and the long tail of a snake. Huge feathered appendages flapped as it hissed at Arthur's company.

“Don't look at it! Basilisks will kill you if you look them in the eye,” came Merlin's shout from somewhere behind Arthur. The prince looked over his shoulder to see Percival holding his mirror over his face as a shield and Gwaine doing the same. Merlin's mirror was low and he met Arthur's gaze for just a moment before turning his attention to the basilisk.

In Arthur's hands was his sword and beside him were Lancelot and Leon, both similarly armed. They were the distraction team, leading the others. The idea was to get the great beast's attention and then reflect its killing eye back to its own gaze. Gaius had said that was the surest way to be rid of it. Arthur hadn't first taken his advice, but when he watched one of their horses drop dead in the basilisk's sight, he ordered his men to take out the mirrors they'd brought and get into a defensive position while he'd hammered out a plan. Waste of a perfectly good horse, that was.

Elyan charged in to the basilisk's flank at Arthur's signal, causing the beast to turn towards him and knock him down with one wing. It screamed and Arthur led the others in a returning cry, moving forward into its side, blades swinging. Because he could not look up, Arthur didn't see the beast's tail flying towards them and knocking all three back. Lancelot and Leon were hit first and went down past Arthur. The prince himself fell onto his chest and covered the back of his head with his hands. At least he couldn't look at the basilisk this way.

He couldn't see his men either.

“Look over here you big stupid beast!” Percival cried, sounding closer to the creature. There was another shout and a thud and Arthur turned his head enough to see the big man on his back not far from Arthur. He crawled over and slapped his cheeks, but Percival was unconscious. Looking around carefully, Arthur caught of glimpse of Leon, unmoving.

A scream to his other side caught Arthur's attention and there was Gwaine, trapped under one of the basilisk's clawed feet. It hissed loudly and Merlin shouted, the only one left standing. Arthur scrabbled to pick up Percival's mirror from beside his body. It was cracked, but it would do, and Arthur held it up beside his face so that he could not see the basilisk, but had a view of Merlin, mirror raised.

The boy was hunched and he took a few steps back, dancing away as the basilisk drew nearer, Gwaine held limp in its talons still. Arthur was about to get up, ready to throw himself at the creature and draw it off Merlin when the servant ever so calmly said a few words which Arthur could not understand. He jumped forward, nearly smashing the mirror into the basilisk's bird-like head. The creature screeched painfully and Arthur dropped his mirror to clap hands to his ears.

He shut his eyes, did not see what happened next, but when he opened them again, the basilisk had fallen and Merlin was rushing towards Gwaine with Lancelot at his heels. Arthur took a few seconds to try and understand the scene before getting to his knees over Percival and tapping his face. The man woke slowly, blinking into awareness. Arthur was already moving to Leon, who clutched his shoulder as he was sitting up.

“Alright?” Arthur asked, close enough to touch his arm.

Leon groaned but nodded. “I've injured my shoulder. Not sure how badly. I can walk.” He got to his feet with Arthur's help before the prince turned around to see Lancelot rousing Gwaine, whose face was bloodied. Off to the side, Percival was helping Elyan to his feet, the latter limping when he tried to walk.

“Arthur,” Merlin's voice came from beside him, making the prince turn. “Are you hurt?” His eyes were wild and his hands shaking a little when he reached out.

Arthur brushed him off. “Fine,” he said, looking at the dead basilisk. He wasn't sure what else to say, so he moved on to Gwaine, helping Lancelot get the man to his feet. With an arm around his waist, Arthur walked him back to the horses. He pretended not to notice that since they were a horse short, someone would be walking.

He also pretended not to notice when Lancelot held out a hand so Merlin could ride behind him. But he definitely noticed, and glared over his shoulder, when Lancelot laughed at something Merlin must have said.

 

-

 

A soft knock on the door made Arthur look up from the parchment littering his desk. He'd had his hands clasped under his chin, eyes seeing but his mind nowhere near the words before him of Sir Leon's report from the day. He wondered a moment who would be knocking so late. He'd already dismissed Merlin for the night and he'd watched Gwen leave down in the courtyard through his window.

“Enter,” he called, resting his hands on his desk and leaning back in his seat. He was surprised to see Lancelot enter quietly and close the door to Arthur's chambers behind him. “Evening, Sir Lancelot. What can I help you with?”

Lancelot stood before him, hands behind his back as he brought his gaze to meet the prince's. “Sire, I wish to speak with you about a rather... sensitive matter.”

“Please, speak freely,” Arthur told him, though he was frowning. He gestured with one hand for Lancelot to relax. The knight did not, he noted.

“It's about Merlin,” Lancelot began slowly, tone heavy.

Arthur's frown deepened. “Is something the matter with him?”

“Ah, well...” Lancelot faltered for a moment, eyes down. “It's about _you_ and Merlin. I want you to know that, even though you are the prince... Merlin is my friend.”

Arthur, having little idea what point Lancelot was trying to make, leaned forward with his elbows on the desk. “And?”

The knight opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cleared his throat. “It is clear to see the way he feels about you, Arthur. What I don't know is how you feel about _him_. If you do not wish to tell me, I understand. But know that whatever happens... I will not let you hurt him.”

Speechless, Arthur tilted his head in confusion. “I... won't?” he said quietly.

“Merlin is...” Lancelot paused, meeting Arthur's eyes. “He is special, and I don't know if you understand just how special.” He spoke slowly and Arthur had the feeling this was about something deeper than it sounded.

“Why are you telling me this?” Arthur asked cautiously.

Lancelot looked suddenly sheepish and his eyes turned to the floor. “I have seen the way you watch him lately.” He was serious again as he continued, “If you have any ill intentions, I suggest you lose them. I am a knight of Camelot, but I will stand at Merlin's back before I see him in these gallows.”

Arthur suddenly understood and he rose to his feet, feeling a stab of pride as Lancelot did not back down. “Lancelot, I appreciate your concern. I assure you, however, that so long as Merlin is at my side, I will do everything I can to protect him from the evils of this world. Even those within Camelot's walls.” He wasn't sure where exactly the words came from, but they were nothing less than the truth.

“Thank you, sire. You put me at ease,” Lancelot said with a nod. He turned around to leave.

“Lancelot.”

“Yes?” the knight asked, turning back at the door.

Arthur struggled to find the right words. “How... does he feel? About me?” he managed to ask.

Lancelot smiled widely. “He believes you the world, Prince.” He left without another sound.

Plopping into his chair, Arthur watched the door close before running a hand over his face. “The world...” he muttered. “What the blazes does that mean?”

 

-

 

“What do you think of the world, Merlin?” Arthur asked, startling the boy.

Merlin stood from where he'd been crouched low to poke at the fire. The glow flickered on his skin and across the walls of Arthur's chambers. “I suppose I think it's alright.” His reply came with a shrug.

Arthur allowed himself a low laugh. “I mean, what is the world to you?” He was sitting at the table, his dinner half finished before him and the backs of his fingers tapping at his chin.

“Camelot?” the servant said slowly. He shrugged again, thought about it, then stepped over to lean his hip against a chair. “If you're trying to ask what _means_ the world to me, you're going about it all wrong.”

With a smirk, the prince hid his blush. “Alright, tell me. What means the world to you?”Merlin looked at the floor but Arthur still saw the soft smile he wore on his pink lips. A strange, stray thought crossed his mind that he'd like to kiss that smile a time or two.

“My mother,” Merlin said quietly. “Gaius. My friends. Gwen. The people I've loved and lost over the years.” Arthur barely caught it, but Merlin also whispered, “You,” before glancing at the prince. “They're everything to me.”

Arthur wasn't smiling anymore. “You would put your life after each of theirs.” It wasn't a question but an observation he was just beginning to realize the extent of.

“I'd never think twice about it. Everyone means something to someone. I'd gladly die before I let someone grieve for a person I could save.” Merlin's eyes were aglow with the light from the fire and something else, too.

“What about the people who would grieve for you?” Arthur asked quietly.

The boy shook his head once. “If it's my destiny...”

“I don't believe in things like destiny. Too many choices.”

“I do.”

Arthur watched him silently for a moment. “You would put destiny over your very life?”

“I would,” Merlin told him solemnly. It made the prince wonder what destiny Merlin could possibly think lied ahead for him.

“You're a funny one,” Arthur finally muttered absently. Merlin turned a smile on him that Arthur thought he'd easily kill a man if it would keep it there forever.

“So are you,” the servant replied breezily. He took a step away from the table and went to move past Arthur, but the prince caught him by the forearm.

His grip was light but Merlin stopped and looked down at him. “Funny isn't a bad thing, right?” he asked in a whisper, eyes slowly raking up to meet Merlin's.

“Not at all.”

The contact between them lingered as Merlin kept walking and Arthur dropped his hand only when the boy was out of reach and through the door.

 

-

 

Merlin's fingers brushed Arthur's shoulders as he slipped the red coat from his arms. The prince was frowning deeply and he was glad Merlin couldn't see his face as he said gently, “Merlin, I'd like to speak with you.”

He turned to see his manservant pause before opening the wardrobe and putting the coat up. “About what?” Merlin asked, bypassing Arthur completely to pick up the cloak he'd thrown to the bed earlier.

“I've wanted to for a while now, but I never knew what to say.” Arthur paused to take a breath, watching Merlin close the wardrobe and lean his forehead against it before turning in place. Their eyes did not meet. Arthur wished Merlin would look up from his boots and took a step towards him. It had been almost a month since the last time he'd tried to bring it up. This time would be different.

“You can talk to me about anything.” The words seemed choked from Merlin's mouth.

Arthur breathed a short laugh and nodded. “I know that. Though it's with some difficulty that I bring this up now.”

“What is it?” Finally, Merlin was looking at him, his eyes filled with concern, loyalty, trust. Arthur had seen those very eyes light with magic. Magic to protect. Magic to save lives. Magic to serve.

Arthur took another step towards him, intent on keeping him from running. He wasn't sure how Merlin would react, but he knew it was likely to not be good. Merlin looked skittish, as he had before when Arthur had almost revealed that he knew. Again, Arthur wanted to reach out to him, but he resisted for the moment.

“You have magic.”

The three words were spoken softly and without inflection, Arthur's face schooled into blankness though his heart was beating too fast within his chest. In retrospect, he could have gone about it a little more subtly, but it was too late for that. Merlin's eyes widened and his lips parted with surprise. They hung in a balance of silence for a long few moments as the young sorcerer seemed to realize the meaning of the words.

“You're—you're not angry?” Merlin whispered in disbelief. He blinked away the few tears Arthur could see gathering in those bright eyes.

Arthur shook his head slowly, then reached an arm across his chest to scratch his shoulder as he lowered his eyes for a moment. “I was, at first. I didn't believe it. But then I started watching you, when you thought nobody was paying attention, and I saw.”

“Arthur...” the name was a sad sigh from Merlin's lips and the prince moved close enough to touch his cheek with the backs of his fingers.

“I was angry. I felt betrayed. You kept this from me for so long,” Arthur continued, the hand not touching Merlin moving to rest against the wardrobe, caging the servant. Merlin's chin dropped and Arthur's fingers moved to cup his jaw lightly, thumb resting below his bottom lip. Arthur was almost whispering as he kept going. “But I'm not angry anymore. I still don't like that you hid from me, but I understand why.”

Merlin's head shot up at that, eyes searching each other's. He looked like he was about to start sobbing so Arthur ran his thumb along the pink line of his trembling lip. “You—” he started, cut off as Arthur's thumb slid past his parted lips and into his mouth. His pupils were wide in the candlelight, his brow furrowed.

“You have looked after me these past years. Never once hurt me or my men. You've been this close to my father and never tried to use magic against him.” The wrinkles on Merlin's forehead seemed to smooth at Arthur's words. “I've watched you use it only to protect me, and only when necessary.”

Merlin's tongue twitched against the pad of Arthur's thumb like he wanted to speak. So with great reluctance, Arthur took the digit back and rubbed the now spit slick tip across Merlin's lips. “How long?” Merlin asked, the question just warm breath.

Arthur licked his own lips, fingers twitching against the wood behind Merlin's back. “A couple of months or so,” he said simply, one shoulder raising in a shrug. He saw a sudden shift in his servant's eyes as they opened wide with fear. As if reading his mind, Arthur told him placatingly, “I've told no one else.” Almost instantly, Merlin relaxed again. His shoulders were still tense and his hands were limp at his sides.

They lapsed into silence and Arthur felt as though Merlin was holding back. There was more that Arthur could have said, but he was unsure if he should. His gaze was set on Merlin's mouth, thumb still tracing his skin, fingertips light on his cheek. Something warm ran across his fingers and Arthur looked up quickly to see a few tears falling from Merlin's closed eyes.

“What's the matter?” Arthur asked, stroking his face with both hands now to brush away the wetness on his cheeks. “Merlin?”

The sorcerer bit his lip and shook his head slightly, hands reaching up to wrap around Arthur's wrists. Slowly, he pulled Arthur's hands from his face and opened his eyes. “Why are you doing this?” he asked with wet eyes.

Arthur's gaze traveled between them, frowning. “What?” he asked dumbly.

“Why are you touching me like this?” Another tear slid down his nose and Arthur was taken aback. “Don't you hate me?”

Arthur was speechless for a long moment as the words sunk in. “Merlin...”

“I betrayed you. I _lied_ to you.” Merlin's voice was so self-deprecating that Arthur felt his heart stop for a second or two. “You trusted me and I—”

“Merlin.”

“—I broke that. I'm a—a,” his voice cracked. “I'm a sorcerer,” he choked out finally.

“Merlin, I don't care,” Arthur tried to interrupt him, desperate.

“You should never have found out.” Merlin's eyes glowed gold for just a second before the room was plunged into darkness, all the candles extinguished.

Merlin dropped his hands, tensing up, and Arthur knew he was about to bolt. With barely a second to think about what he was doing, the prince's hands fit around Merlin's head and pulled them together. Their lips touched for what felt like forever until Arthur parted them to gasp in a ragged breath. Foreheads together, Arthur just held him as they breathed each other in.

When Merlin was still and relaxed enough that Arthur knew he wasn't going to run, he kissed him again. Over and over he pressed their mouths together, noses brushing past each other. It wasn't until Arthur pulled away again that Merlin finally reached up and threaded his fingers through blonde hair.

With wide eyes, Arthur watched Merlin's light up again and, one by one, the candles in the room flared to life around them. He didn't look away, barely even blinked, until the warlock's eyes returned to their ever beautiful blue. He understood. Merlin was scared. And Arthur could not begrudge him for that. He'd kept it secret all his life, fear making the very idea of Arthur knowing unthinkable. If Arthur were his father, Merlin would already be dead.

But he was not his father. He would not let Merlin die for his magic, not after everything he'd seen. This boy was too precious a life to be lost.

“I don't hate you,” he finally whispered, lips too close to Merlin's.

“Even though I was born with it?”

Arthur smiled, just the smallest curl of his lips. “Never.” He kissed Merlin again, intent behind his tongue and hands moving so one was around the back of Merlin's neck and the other between his back and the wardrobe.

Merlin gasped against him and tightened his fingers around the strands of Arthur's hair. He tugged Arthur away then followed after, taking a step that forced Arthur to step back. Slowly they moved backwards towards the bed, stopping only when they stood at the foot. Arthur's arms were strong around Merlin's thin body and the boy's warm hands held him in a kiss that was like nothing he'd ever felt before.

Merlin leaned back enough to meet his eyes, panting. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

“Why?” Arthur tilted his head to drag in great lungfuls of air. He searched for an answer in Merlin's gaze, and found it not a second later when those endless eyes flashed gold and Arthur blinked. His body felt heavy and within another heartbeat he was falling onto the bed, drifting into darkness.

 

-

 

He woke the next morning to sun on his face, tucked into his bed. Blinking a few times to get the sleep from his eyes, he slowly sat up, looking around. He was expecting Merlin to be there, smiling in the sunlight or with a plate of food in his hands. But the longer he looked the more disappointed he felt. No one else was in the room.

Arthur got his feet to the floor, sitting with his head in his hands for a long moment. Standing, his eyes caught on the wardrobe nearby and remembered with vivid clarity the taste of Merlin on his lips and warm body in his arms. Pushing the thoughts aside, he quickly pulled on a shirt and boots and was about to leave when he saw his breakfast waiting on the table. Arthur stared at the plate for a few lasting seconds before turning away and leaving the room swiftly.

He headed towards Gaius' chambers, not bothering to knock before entering. The smell of something burning was first to assail his senses until he saw Gaius himself standing at a table, glass bottle in his hand and over a burning candle. The old man turned to glance at him when he entered, but went back to his work without a word.

“Gaius, is Merlin here?” Arthur asked quickly, standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. He was attempting to not look too worried, after all it was a common thing for Merlin to skip out in the mornings. He didn't want Gaius to suspect anything.

“No, sire, he's out on an errand for me at the moment,” the physician told him, moving to another table with his concoction in hand.

“Where is he?”

“In the woods, sire, gathering a few herbs that I need.” The line seemed rehearsed but Gaius turned a closed-mouth smile towards him so Arthur didn't question it. “Shall I tell him you need him when he returns?”

Arthur shook his head slowly and sighed. “No, it's alright. I'll find him myself.”

“Arthur,” Gaius called as the crown prince turned away. He seemed to brace himself before asking, “Has something happened? I haven't seen the boy so... disheartened, not for a long time.”

Pursing his lips, Arthur went to the door without answering. Before leaving, however, he said over his shoulder, “If he returns before I find him, tell him I'm looking for him.”

He didn't bother with a horse but returned to his chambers for a cloak and his sword before leaving for the woods. Too many footprints made it hard to track anyone through the forest so close to the castle. But Arthur had seen Merlin stop in particular areas to pick up herbs enough times that he had a good idea where to at least begin his search for the runaway. He made his way through the trees with careful footsteps, moving quickly.

He passed a clearing of columbine, traipsed along the edge of some rosemary bushes, and spotted some sage on his way to the river where he knew Merlin liked to splash around. He supposed he should be grateful that he knew the woods so well, he'd grown up in them really, and had journeyed out so many times with an easily distracted Merlin at his side.

It wasn’t too long before he saw the familiar edges of Merlin’s brown jacket poking out from behind a thick tree where he sat cross-legged. Arthur made his presence known with loud footsteps but Merlin barely glanced up as Arthur drew closer and finally sat against the trunk, legs outstretched, their shoulders not quite close enough to touch.

Arthur mused a moment if Merlin would speak, but the boy had begun to carefully pluck the blades of grass from the ground in front of him and set them in a pile. He had a sizable cluster by the time Arthur cleared his throat and gazed over the trees, twisting his fingers together in his lap.

“Gaius told me you were out here,” he began slowly. Merlin did not appear to want to speak, so Arthur let out his next words in a sigh of breath. “I’m sorry.” He waited another few moments but Merlin was still silent, picking grass with a lowered head. Arthur lamented that he couldn’t see Merlin’s face.

“I didn’t mean to—I wasn’t trying to…” Arthur paused to take in a deep breath. Then another. “You were clearly upset,” he finished lamely. Merlin snorted beside him, but it was a few silent moments before he resumed destroying plant life and Arthur took it as his cue to continue.

“I probably could have been a bit more, ah, tactful. So I apologize for—for my actions last night.” Arthur let out a silent breath after he’d finished, a little nervous to even look over at his servant.

After several more minutes of relative quiet, only birdsong and the bubbling of the river in his ears, it became apparent that Merlin still was not talking to him. Arthur stood slowly, having said what he had aimed to. He brushed the dirt from his backside. “Forgive me,” he said, very quietly, and started making his way towards the castle. He knew Merlin would eventually wander back in like a cat does.

He moved with a leisurely pace, since he was no longer searching, and welcomed the calming sound of the breeze in the trees and his footsteps in the underbrush. He figured he was still a good ways away from the edges of Camelot when he heard quick footfalls behind him. Before Arthur could turn, a hand caught his arm.

He was spun around until his back hit a tree and a mouth slotted on top of his. Arthur was stunned into stillness until Merlin’s long fingers threaded into his hair and the prince slid his arms around a familiar slim waist. Merlin kissed with warm lips and pointy elbows and he pulled away long before Arthur was ready for him to.

“Does this mean I'm forgiven?” he asked cheekily.

Merlin's hands went to Arthur's chest, toying with the edges of his cloak. “You're a prat,” he said, but he was smiling.

Arthur grinned and muttered, “I know,” against Merlin's cheek.

 

-

 

Merlin’s horse was plodding along mildly beside Arthur’s as they passed through a narrow grove of trees. It was a mild spring day and they were “surveying” the woods around the edges of Camelot. Really, it was just an excuse that Arthur had used on the knights to tell them he was taking the day off to ride around aimlessly and fill his ears with Merlin’s banter rather than the droning of Sir Leon’s reports.

It was all quiet save for the leaves crinkling under the horses’ hooves and the incessant chirping of birds in the tall branches of trees. Merlin was talking about something to do with Gaius, but Arthur was drifting off, eyes watching the path before them but not really seeing it. Something moved through the trees, a deer perhaps? It was hard to tell from so far away, but Arthur forgot about it as he glanced to his servant and noticed the boy had stopped talking.

“What’s wrong?” the prince asked him, riding close enough that their legs brushed and their horses bumped each other until working out a path again side by side.

“Something ahead,” Merlin whispered, focus aimed deep into the forest. His irises glowed suddenly, gold swirling. “Bandits. Five or six at least.”

“You know, that's quite useful.”

Merlin spared him a smile before making to turn his horse around. They could outrun the group if they ran fast. Arthur did the same, but behind them were four more bandits, slowly making their way into the immediate path on horseback. “More useful if I could see behind us, too,” Merlin mumbled.

Arthur would have laughed, but he was taking his sword out from his horse's side and readying himself. “If we split up, I can probably take these four. Can you handle the others?” He gave a sideways glance to his companion and was both a little frightened and exhilarated by the grin that answered him. Merlin turned back towards the other bandits and after a moment, they were completely surrounded.

“Ready?” Merlin asked. He didn't wait for an answer from the prince but charged ahead on his horse and into the fray, spouting a long spell that sounded deadly.

Hoping that was the case, Arthur rode towards the four in front of him, turning his horse at the last second so he could slash at two of them. He caught them both well enough and swung around. Merlin was on his feet and he spun in a circle, hands out, causing two men to go flying back into the forest. The rest were already down. Arthur made to move again to take care of his last two, but he was being knocked off his horse.

Before he realized what was happening, he was on his back, sword out of his hand, and horse leaping away, whinnying loudly. Arthur lifted his head to see a bandit coming towards him, sword outstretched. Scrabbling for his own sword, Arthur patted his hand around blindly, getting ready to roll should the man swing at him. But just as he touched his sword finally, Merlin was sliding to a stop in front of him, halfway crouched.

“Don't touch him,” he threatened, voice low. Throwing his hands out and shouting a spell, Merlin sent the bandit sprawling, his own sword plunging into his chest to the hilt as he fell onto it. Arthur heard footsteps to his left and twisted his neck to see, but Merlin was ahead of him. The sorcerer didn't even have to move and the last bandit toppled over off of his horse, which kicked its legs up and jumped away a few paces.

Silence finally greeted Arthur's ears. Merlin turned to him, his expression unreadable, and held out a hand. Arthur picked up his sword and took the offered help to pull him up. A cursory glance around showed that every bandit was on the ground and a few horses stood around huffing and stomping their feet.

“How embarrassing,” Arthur muttered but he was grinning with the heat of it all.

Merlin looked sheepish but brushed some dirt from the prince's shoulder. “You weren't terrible. You got two, at least.”

Arthur felt himself laughing. “I was too distracted by you to get the others,” he replied honestly. “That was... something.” A heavy breath left his lungs and Merlin's cheeks flushed.

“It's, um, it's nice to be able to fight for once and not have to wait until you're unconscious to use my magic,” the boy told him, moving towards his horse.

“It's nice to see you use it so freely. And by nice I mean amazing,” Arthur called after him, following at his heels and sliding his sword into his belt. Now that the danger had passed he was free to examine just how _nice_ watching Merlin use his magic was.

“I'm not—shut up!” Merlin told him over his shoulder.

“Oh, but you are,” Arthur argued, catching him around the waist when Merlin was beside his horse. He spun the boy around and planted a kiss on his lips that Merlin made a surprised noise at. Still, he responded with enthusiasm and slid his arms around Arthur's shoulders.

“Arthur!” Merlin protested when the prince dipped him back a little, bumping them into the horse's side. “Knock it off.” Normally Arthur would have at least given him room to breathe, but Merlin's voice was thick with laughter and there was no threat behind his words. His mouth was grinning when he kissed Arthur again but pushed him away after just a minute more. “Not here,” was his excuse.

Glancing around again, Arthur made a face. “Dead people, not good for this mood. Sorry,” he muttered, though he laughed as well. “I've lost my horse,” he added, looking around for the one he'd ridden there on.

Merlin mounted his quickly and held a hand down. “We'll catch up.” Arthur got up behind him, sliding his arms securely around Merlin's waist and letting him take the reins. Merlin's head roved around and Arthur assumed he was using magic to locate the missing horse. “She ran back towards Camelot,” he said, leading his own horse to trot in that direction.

Arthur rested his chin on Merlin's shoulder blade, lips on the fabric of his coat. He tapped his fingers every minute or so against Merlin's stomach and relished in the offhanded scorn that was Merlin's huffs of feigned annoyance. Laughing to himself, Arthur slid his hands under Merlin's jacket first, then his shirt, fingers tracing the bare skin of his abdomen. Merlin shifted a bit in place and smacked one of Arthur's hands.

“You're incorrigible,” Merlin said to him after a while. Arthur could hear the smile in his voice and knew the servant really didn't mind at all.

Arthur loved touching him. Whether it was a pat on the shoulder or a hand ruffling his hair, fingertips on his cheek or trailing down his side. He'd sit Merlin beside him in front of the fire in his room and hold his hands for hours. He made up for his princely brashness with gentle fingers on Merlin's shoulders and lips that gave the sweetest of kisses. Merlin took it all in stride and together they were really starting to get somewhere. They hadn't gotten very far yet, Arthur mused.

“Merlin,” Arthur whispered against his neck, lips brushing the hairs at the base of his skull. He felt Merlin's shiver under his hands. The rush of the battle was making him feel a little drunk with sudden desire.

“Arthur,” the boy admonished in a hiss, “we are on a _horse_!”

With sure hands, Arthur ran his touch up Merlin's chest, listening for the hitch in his breath. “We could stop.”

“Yes, wait until we're back to the castle,” Merlin told him with some relief, though his voice was tight.

“I meant we could stop the horse,” Arthur said with a chuckle. He trailed his hands down over Merlin's ribs and stopped at the edges of his hips, kneading the flesh there.

For another minute, Merlin did nothing. Then, abruptly, he pulled the reins of the horse. Arthur felt a little spark of excitement in his belly that did not dissipate even as Merlin said thickly, “Get off.”

With a lingering kiss on the back of his neck, Arthur did as he was told and dismounted quickly. Part of him thought that Merlin might just ride off and leave him there frustrated. But Merlin swung his leg over and stepped down, Arthur reaching out to steady him. They were surrounded by trees, no other person in sight, and Merlin wrapped the horse's reins around the low branch of a tree before turning on Arthur.

There was magic in his eyes and the barest hint of a smile that had Arthur grinning even as he was pushed back into the trunk of a tree. Merlin's hands hadn't even touched him and the prince watched him stalk closer with wide eyes. The sorcerer whispered words that Arthur didn't recognize and though he felt no magic on him, he could see it in Merlin's gaze.

He had but a second to ponder what spell had been cast before Merlin was telling him, “Lift your arms.”

Arthur was used to this. Merlin helped him dress and undress every day. But with raised arms, this felt different. Magic removed his light armor and chain mail and unhooked his belt. His sword clanged when it hit the ground. Wrists crossed, Arthur's hands rested just above his head against the bark. Barely within reach, Merlin's eyes were constantly astir with golden magic.

“You like my magic,” Merlin whispered, almost unbelievingly.

Arthur licked his lips. “I do. You're... amazing,” he breathed.

Merlin's smile was soft. “I never thought you'd see this.” He was close enough that if Arthur leaned his head in, they might have kissed. “Never thought you'd know.”

“Glad I do,” the prince said sincerely.

The flush on Merlin's cheeks made him look shy, but his hands were not when they were suddenly under Arthur's shirt, warm on his sides. He was still a blushing virgin, but only in the most literal sense. He kissed with a tongue that knew Arthur's mouth well and his hands were all too familiar with the bumps and scars across the prince's body. His eyes were back to normal when they opened again and Arthur took handfuls of his short hair to bring their lips together again.

Merlin's feet were between Arthur's and they were hip to hip. The servant's hands scratched blunt nails along Arthur's sides before slipping lower, just under the edge of his trousers. Arthur clung to him a moment longer before sidestepping and pulling Merlin around with him, turning so the boy's back was against the tree. The prince's hands were pushing into his chest and Merlin got his own low enough to reach Arthur's ass and take handfuls of it.

With some difficultly, Arthur got fingers under Merlin's shirt again and rubbed thumbs across his nipples, fingers fitting into the grooves of his ribs. He kissed the sorcerer's jaw and his neck, mouthing nonsense against his skin. Merlin's heartbeat was pressed to his lips and Arthur savored the fast pounding of it. A moan in his ear made Arthur laugh and Merlin squeezed his bum in retaliation, but Arthur just rocked his hips forward.

“This would be better in your bed, you know,” Merlin told him breathlessly.

Arthur took his lips in short but a bruising kiss. “It's good anywhere with you.”

“Romantic.” Merlin's tone was teasing but he moaned again when Arthur rolled their pelvises together. They were both stiff in their pants, he could feel. Arthur gasped a ragged breath when Merlin tugged him in, jerking his hips to meet the movement.

Arthur dragged his hands from Merlin's skin to grab his hips. He licked into his lover's mouth, leaving him with teeth around his bottom lip and reveling in the wild eyes and wet, red mouth he saw as he pulled away. He placed a kiss on Merlin's collarbone before descending to his knees, not missing the breathless noise Merlin made. Hands slid to his shoulders and Arthur glanced up before working to untie Merlin's pants.

They'd never done this before. Never gone this far. This new relationship was barely a month or so old but Arthur was too sure to back off now. Merlin said nothing and the prince finished his work by tugging the fabric off Merlin's hips and his smalls with it. The curve of his hipbones came into view just before his cock. There was a pause where neither of them breathed.

Then Arthur's hands were back on his now bare hips, holding the boy in place as Arthur mouthed wet kisses into all the skin he could reach. Merlin buried one hand in Arthur's hair as he bit back choked noises. That just wouldn't do. Arthur touched his lips to the skin of his cock for the first time and Merlin stopped breathing for a few seconds until he shuddered out a sigh. His fingers were tight on Arthur's scalp.

Pressing kisses along the length, Arthur wrapped the fingers of one hand around it. His tongue licked the taste from the tip while he looked up. Merlin's head was back against the tree, throat working as he tried to swallow, breathe, and moan at the same time. He was truly a sight to behold and Arthur only lamented that he wasn't naked. Making a mental note about later, Arthur returned his attention to the task at hand.

Merlin groaned louder than ever and choked on breath when Arthur wrapped his lips around the end of the servant's cock and sucked as best he could. So he did it again. Sliding his fingers along to pick up some of the saliva he was leaving behind, Arthur slowly worked more and more into his mouth with every pass. Before long he had almost the whole of Merlin's dick and he backed off before diving in and letting the tip just barely reach the back of his throat.

“Arthur, I— _shit,_ ” Merlin gasped, raking his fingers through Arthur's hair. With gentle guidance, he controlled the speed of Arthur's pushes and pulls.

Fingers digging now into Merlin's thighs, Arthur let himself be led and hummed in response. Merlin panted a moan and was too far gone to even try and quiet the little noises that he was making. It was intoxicating, the mix of sounds and taste and feelings. Arthur slipped one hand to his groin, rubbing at his own cock through his trousers.

Merlin was moving him faster and Arthur reached up to grasp his wrists and allow him up. Rising unsteadily to his feet, Arthur met the sorcerer in a kiss as he freed himself from the confines of his pants. He could have cried at the relief touching himself gave. Merlin's mouth was greedy and his hands even more so, grasping for purchase on his hips. With some reluctance, Arthur broke the kiss to breathe properly and Merlin took the chance to get his hand around both of their cocks.

Arthur sighed a moan into Merlin's jaw and shuddered as he came suddenly, fingers no doubt leaving bruises along Merlin's ribs for how hard he was holding on. Following moments later, Merlin stroked them through it and all Arthur could do was feel the wracks and shudders of their bodies against one another until Merlin slowly let go.

They stood like that until Merlin got fingers under Arthur's chin and tilted his face to be kissed with soft, plump lips. The prince gathered his wits about him enough to finally lessen his grip on Merlin's body and slide his hands to the boy's shoulders to hold him gently. After another minute or five, they worked together to make themselves presentable.

“I really liked that,” Merlin finally whispered, as if he was scared to make a sound in the sudden quiet they were surrounded with. He was blushing when Arthur looked into his face and smiled.

“You'll like it better tonight,” he replied.

With a laugh, Merlin slung his arms around Arthur's waist. “Is that a threat?”

Arthur kissed him again and said against his lips, “A promise. One of many I'm sure I'll make in the future.”

“And you'll keep them all?” Merlin asked. He was smiling but his gaze was serious.

“Every one. Knight's honor.” Though his tone was light, Arthur put meaning behind it, and he punctuated the promise with a peck on Merlin's nose. They kissed once more for good measure before Arthur pulled away and took Merlin by the hand, leading him back towards the horse on only slightly wobbly legs.

“Arthur?” the servant started, sounding uncertain.

The prince stopped and looked back at him. “What is it?”

“Nothing bad, I just...” Merlin reached out so he held both of Arthur's hands. “I've told you before that I believe in destiny.” He waited until Arthur nodded before continuing, “I still do. And you're mine. My destiny, I mean. Whatever happens, happens for a reason.”

Arthur felt as if there was some deeper meaning behind the words that he didn't understand yet, but he pulled Merlin close and held him tightly. “Maybe I'm starting to believe in destiny just a little bit, too.”

Merlin was smiling when they parted. On the ride back to Camelot he sat behind Arthur, forehead resting against the prince's shoulder, quietly content.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the parts all out of order so I hope it made sense alright. And that the ending isn't shitty, I didn't know what I wanted so I just went with it.


End file.
